Harry Potter and the Alternate Ending to OotP
by AllieE
Summary: Didn't like how OotP ended? Neither did I. This is the way I wanted it to end, even though I exaggerate -- A LOT. The ending was too sad, I wanted it to be happy and funny....so I made my own! *Major OotP spoilers!!* **Please R&R!**
1. Tabloid Star

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            **This is the way "Order of the ****Phoenix****" should have ended. I don't know how long this will be…just R&R and if you like it, I'll keep going.**

**PS: I own this alternate ending. JKR owns the "real" ending and the characters.**

**I'm summarizing, so don't worry!**

*~*~*

_Starts around Chapter 26 in OotP_

            Harry was surrounded by his fellow Gryffindors in the Great Hall for dinner. Harry was excited because he had just given an interview to Rita Skeeter about his last meeting with Voldemort, which was to appear in _The Quibbler._

            "Can't wait to see what Umbridge thinks of you going public," said Dean. Seamus was being a butt-hole, acting like he wasn't paying attention. Everyone knew he was and that's what made everyone hate him. 

            "You rock, Harry!" said Neville. 

            Harry and Hermione were waiting for Ron, who had not returned from Quidditch practice yet. Harry was still P.O.'ed that he was kicked off the Quidditch team. But he was happy that Malfoy was in a serious coma.                                                                      Cho Chang just entered the hall with her good-for-nothing friend Marietta.

            "Oh, I forgot to ask you," said Hermione, looking at Cho, "how was you date?"

            Harry gulped. "Well, you know how these things are," Harry said in his most macho voice, "she was obviously hung up on Cedric and she was always crying. So I told her it wouldn't work out." Harry hoped that Hermione wouldn't catch on to his fake macho-ness.

            Not only did Hermione notice, but she cracked up laughing. "Yeah right Harry! In your dreams!"

            At this moment, Ron and Ginny enter the hall.

            "How was practice?" asked Harry. He was expecting Ron to say, "_Oh, nothing without you, Master of Quidditch…" But he didn't._

            "It was bloody awesome! And so was I!" exclaimed Ron. "Angelina said that I'm on my way to becoming captain!"

            "Oh…that's great Ron," said Harry, fighting back tears.

*~*~*

            Finally, the day had arrived! Harry was now a bona-fide tabloid star!! The HP edition of _The Quibbler_ sold like hotcakes. 

            "It's good, isn't it?" said Luna, who was now standing behind Harry.

            "Yeah, it's great, but –"

            "But what?" asked Luna.

            "—but _where on earth did they find this picture of me? I look so fat!"_

            By now, Professor Umbridge was standing behind Harry, reading all of his mail.

            "Where on earth did all this come from?" she asked in her stupid voice.

            Harry replied very slowly: "I gave an interview (he gestured writing on a piece of paper) to _The Quibbler_ (holding up _The Quibbler) about Voldemort (touching his scar) and how he is back."_

            "How dare you…." yelled Professor Umbridge. But before she could finish, he, Hermione, Ron, George, Ginny, Seamus, Dean, and Neville, stood up and looked her in the face.

            George pointed and yelled, "Hey, what's going on over there?" 

            When "Dumbridge" looked, they all pushed her over Fred, who was kneeling right behind her legs. They all jumped on her while Harry, Hermione, and Ron ran for it. The gang tied her up to a chair and locked her in the Chamber of Secrets. Whoops…no more Professor Dumbridge. 

            The first thing out of Fred and George's mouths as they high-fived each other: "Score! Quidditch! Let's go tell Harry!"


	2. The Bunny!

**            Thanks to those of you who reviewed my story(…or should I say ending?)! I really hope you like it!**

*~*~*

**"Harry Potter and the Alternate Ending to Harry Potter and the Order of the ****Phoenix****"**

**            --- Or "AEtOotP" for short….lol**

**Chapter 2**

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            Harry was back to playing Quidditch and nothing could have spoiled his good mood. And to top it all off, none of the teachers reprimanded him or the others for roping Umbridge to a chair and ultimately sending her to her death. They actually seemed pleased because all of them were awarding Gryffindor all sorts of points for what seemed like nothing; except Snape, of course.

            "Harry! How good to see you!" shouted Professor Flitwick. "Five billion points to Gryffindor!"

            "Sweet!" said Harry in Ron in unison, giving each other a high-five. 

*~*~*

            Gryffindor defeated Hufflepuff in the next Quidditch match. Harry caught the Snitch within 30 seconds to give Gryffindor the win, 150-0. 

            "Well _that was a colossal waste of time," said Angelina Johnson. "Nevertheless, well done Harry." She sighed and walked of to the locker rooms._

            Harry went to bed that night still in good spirits about the win. But then a thought lurched inside of his head: he hadn't practiced his Occlumency! _What if he had that nightmare again? he thought. The thought alone was enough to make him shiver. But sooner or later, he drifted off to sleep…_

            He dreamt he was in the field…the field of daisies and butterflies…something was chasing him…he was running with all of his might…he suddenly collapsed, putting his hands in front of his face…"NOOO!! GO AWAY!!...the bunny jumped on him…

            Harry woke up in a cold sweat. 

            "Had that dream again?" whispered Ron, sympathetically. 

            "Yeah," said Harry. "If only I could get to the end of the field before that bunny attacks me."

            Ron had a strange look of bewilderment on his face.

            "What are you _talking_ about?" snapped Ron. "What bunny? I was talking about You-Know-Who…"

            "Er…right…er…well, when I say 'bunny' I mean Voldemort," said Harry in the same macho voice he used with Hermione. "It makes him seem less…er…scary, you see."

            Harry was glad it was dark because his face turned that same color as his Quidditch robes.

*~*~*

_Fast-forward a little:_

            _Meanwhile at a D.A. meeting:_

            "All right then," said Harry, "I think you all are ready for the Patronus."

            Everyone squealed with delight except for Zacharias Smith.

            "What if I don't want to do a Patronus?" he whined. 

            "Enough!" said Harry. "We have all had enough of your complaining, whining, and just being a git. Oh yeah, say 'hello' to Professor Umbridge on behalf of the D.A.…"

            Just before he had a chance to ask what Harry meant, or complain, Harry pressed the button that just appeared next to him. It was labeled "Trap Door to Chamber of Secrets". The floor underneath Zacharias magically disappeared and Zacharias dropped down to the Chamber.

            "Well, that takes care of that," said Harry, wiping his hands as if they were dirty.

            "Honestly you guys, we should really stop sending everyone that annoys us down into the Chamber of Secrets," said Hermione. 

            Everyone was expecting her to say how it was immoral or wrong. "It's going to get too full," she said, grinning.


End file.
